EULA Hall of Shame

Below are links to information regarding the most recent inductees into the EULA Hall of Shame. Read and learn! You have been warned!

GOOGLE
MICROSOFT

Date: 5-16-07

Subject: Windows Live OneCare

URL: www.microsoft.com/about/legal/useterms/default.aspx

Quote: WE MAKE NO WARRANTY. We provide the Service “as-is,” “with all faults” and “as available.”

Analysis: From the Windows Live OneCare website main page (onecare.live.com/site/en-US/center/howsafe.htm), we find:

"Keep hackers and unwanted software at bay and learn about some quick ways to keep your PC secure. How safe is your PC? Use our free protection scan to check for and remove viruses, spyware, and other potentially unwanted software and to find vulnerabilities in your Internet connection."

Well, yeah, except that is has "all faults." That's a lot of faults. Live OneCare also comes as a paid version, but, if it fails to perform, oh well, OOPS! You paid for every fault in the world!

========================================

Subject: Windows Live OneCare

Quote: You also may not use [the service] in a way that harms us or our affiliates, resellers, distributors, service providers and/or suppliers… Notices provided to you via e-mail will be
deemed given and received on the transmission date of the e-mail. You must make a request for a paper copy within 120 days after we first provided it to you.

Analysis: "You may not harm us?" What in the world does that mean? Oh, and if we send you an email (or, SAY that we sent you an email) that you never recieve, well, that's just too bad for you. We get to act like it was received, and you have NO RECOURSE.

EULA Hall of Shame EULA

The following constitutes the EULA Hall of Shame EULA
(End Users License Agreement).
Please read carefully!
1. By viewing, seeing, casting your eyes upon, accessing, thinking about, hearing about, or in any other way using your ocular, auditory, cranial or other sensory faculties or facilities to gain any knowledge of or information from the EULA Hall of Fame website (hereinafter known as EHOF) you agree to be bound in perpetuity and forever and ever amen by the terms and conditions of this EULA agreement, which constitutes a binding contract upon you without any legal resort, appeal, petition or redress of any kind, either known or which may become known in the future.
2. You agree that EHOF, along with its creators, initiators, employees, associates, heirs, assigns, architects, authors, relatives, entrepreneurs, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, children, cousins and other in-laws, founders, inventors, makers, originators, parents, patriarchs, builders, contributors, developers, pioneers, affiliates, allies, cohorts, colleagues, confederates, copartners, fellows, partners, chums, companions, comrades, cronies, fellows, mates, hirelings, jobholders, workers, hires, hired hands, and anyone else that EHOF and its creators, initiators, employees, associates, heirs, assigns, architects, authors, relatives, entrepreneurs, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, children, cousins and other in-laws, founders, inventors, makers, originators, parents, patriarchs, builders, contributors, developers, pioneers, affiliates, allies, cohorts, colleagues, confederates, copartners, fellows, partners, chums, companions, comrades, cronies, fellows, mates, hirelings, jobholders, workers, hires, and hired hands shall deem worthy shall be able to do anything whatsoever that they please, and, if you don’t like it, well then, that's just too bad for you.

SCROOGLE.org
SEARCH

Yeah, it's cheesy to include Google ads on this website, but, hey, we figure that as much as we rag on Google, they should pay us for the privilege. Hmmm, there's some interesting logic for you!

If you know of a EULA that should be inducted into the EULA Hall of Shame, PLEASE EMAIL US at the address found below. If you submit a EULA for inclusion, YOU MUST INCLUDE (1) the name of the company originating the EULA, (2) the name of the program, website or other device that incorporates the EULA, (3) a link to a website owned by the EULA originator that displays the EULA, OR the ORIGINAL FACTORY OEM floppy disc, CD, DVD or printed-on-paper document that contains the EULA. We only deal with original factory OEM products -- WE WILL NOT ACCEPT COPIES. If necessary, we will provide you with a land-location mailing address, and, when we are through with our analysis, your materials will be returned, AND, (4) your reasons why you dislike the EULA.
EMAILS THAT DO NOT CONFORM TO THE ABOVE REQUIREMENTS WILL BE IGNORED.

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If you feel that information found on this website has somehow wronged you or your company, please email us at the address found above. We take all such communications very seriously. Be advised, however, that nasty, threatening or otherwise abusive emails will be forwarded to our team of pitbull attorneys, who would love nothing more than to take a EULA lawsuit all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. You read eourd EULA, didn't you?
We do not "deep-link" to EULAs or other information found on webites, so you may need to copy and paste URLs into your browser in order to view certain information. We feel that this is a fair practice, as we are simply reporting what appeared in our browser's address bar, and not providing an actual link.

The contents of this website are Copyright 2007 and following years by Dave Moore and the EULA Hall of Shame. This website is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to provide legal advice of any kind. Materials found on this website which are not the property of Dave Moore and the EULA Hall of Shame are the property of their respective owners, and are used and reproduced pursuant to the Fair Use and other applicable laws of the United States of America. See fairuse.stanford.edu for more information. This website went online May 19, 2007. Also, thanks to Chris Hansen for the cool font!

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