EULA Hall of Shame

Below are links to information regarding the most recent inductees into the EULA Hall of Shame. Read and learn! You have been warned!

GOOGLE
MICROSOFT

YAHOO! TERMS OF SERVICE

Weighing in at well over 5,000 words, Yahoo's EULA, which they call "Terms of Service" (TOS), is one of the longest that we've seen. Sneaky clauses abound, including one that deals with epileptic seizure. No kidding!

Date: 7-6-07

Subject: Yahoo! Terms of Service

URL: http://info.yahoo.com/legal/us/yahoo/utos/utos-173.html

Quote: 1. ACCEPTANCE OF TERMS

Yahoo! Inc. ("Yahoo!") welcomes you. Yahoo! provides its service to you subject to the following Terms of Service ("TOS"), which may be updated by us from time to time without notice to you.

In addition, when using particular Yahoo! owned or operated services, you and Yahoo! shall be subject to any posted guidelines or rules applicable to such services, which may be posted from time to time. All such guidelines or rules (including but not limited to our Spam Policy) are hereby incorporated by reference into the TOS. Yahoo! may also offer other services that are governed by different Terms of Service.

Analysis: Well, isn't that nice? We're subject to rules that they're not even going to tell us about!

And, "other services" are "governed by different Terms of Service?" Like what? Like who? The answer is found in clause 25. Not only are you expected to read, understand and abide by the 5,000+ word Yahoo! TOS, you are also expected to do the same for YAHOOLIGANS!, YAHOO! KIDS, YAHOO! GROUPS, YAHOO! MAIL OUTPOST, YAHOO! VISION, 12 DAYS OF GIVING, 1800MYYAHOO, ACCENTRIC, BETTER JOBS FOR A BETTER LIFE, BINGO, BROADCAST.COM, CAMP YAHOO!, CORPORATE YAHOO!, CYBERSET, EGROUPS, FANTASY CAREERS, FOR ALL THAT SURFING YOU NEED THE RIGHT BOARD, FORTIFIED WITH YAHOO!, FUTUREBUILDER, GAMEPROWLER, GEOCITIES, GET LOCAL, HOPE FOR THE HOLIDAYS, HOTJOBS, HOW DO YOU MOVE YOUR MONEY?, HUMAN COUPON, IMVIRONMENTS, INKTOMI, INVOLVEMENT BRANDING, IPO ROW, JT'S BLOCKS, LIVING ROOM ACTIVE, MATCHCAST, NAVAL COMMAND, PERMISSION MARKETING, PERSONAL EDGE, PERSONAL NOTES HOSTED BY DAVE KOZ, RESLEX, RESUMIX, ROCKETMAIL, SAFETY SHIELD, SCALING THE INTERNET, SHOPFIND, SOFTSHOE, SPORTSTREAM, STATTRACKER, THE BIG PICTURE, THE EXPERIENCED PROFESSIONAL'S JOB BOARD, THE ORIGINAL TEXAS YA-HOO CAKE CO., THE WEB'S HOTTEST JOBS, TOKI TOKI BOOM, TRAFFIC CONTROLLER, TRAFFIC SERVER, TURN IT ON, VALUELAB, VIVASMART, WEB CORPS, WORD RACER, WORDAHOLIC, WORKWORLD, WWW.HOTJOBS.COM, YEF, and YOUR HOME ON THE WEB. Did we leave anyone out? Ridiculous!

Quote: 6. MEMBER CONDUCT

You agree to not use the Service to:

   a. upload, post, email, transmit or otherwise make available any Content that is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or otherwise objectionable;
   b. harm minors in any way;
   k. intentionally or unintentionally violate any applicable local, state, national or international law, including, but not limited to, regulations promulgated by the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, any rules of any national or other securities exchange, including, without limitation, the New York Stock Exchange, the American Stock Exchange or the NASDAQ, and any regulations having the force of law;
   m. "stalk" or otherwise harass another; and/or
   n. collect or store personal data about other users in connection with the prohibited conduct and activities set forth in paragraphs a through m above.

ANALYSIS: These clauses are filled with ambiguous terms that could be interpreted a zillion different ways. Who's to say what is unlawful, harmful, threatening, abusive, harassing, tortious, defamatory, vulgar, obscene, libelous, invasive of another's privacy, hateful, or racially, ethnically or "otherwise objectionable." "Otherwise objectionable," to whom? "Harm minors in any way?" Hell, potato chips do that! Also, how did the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission, any rules of any nation, the New York Stock Exchange, the American Stock Exchange and NASDAQ get in here? "ANY RULES OF ANY NATION?" How about China, or Cuba, or Iran? Who dreams up this trash?

QUOTE: You acknowledge, consent and agree that Yahoo! may access, preserve and disclose your account information and Content if required to do so by law or in a good faith belief that such access preservation or disclosure is reasonably necessary to: (a) comply with legal process; (b) enforce the TOS; (c) respond to claims that any Content violates the rights of third parties; (d) respond to your requests for customer service; or (e) protect the rights, property or personal safety of Yahoo!, its users and the public.

ANALYSIS: We can and will give your personal information to anyone that we please, and, too bad for you.

QUOTE: Accordingly, by agreeing to this Terms of Service, you acknowledge that use of the service results in interstate data transmissions.

ANALYSIS: I'm not sure why this clause is here. I do know, though, that in the United States, Congress' ability to tax is Constitutionally limited to interstate and foreign commerce. Also, the investigative abilities of some federal law enforcment agencies, such as the FBI, are limited to crimes that are "interstate" (crossing state borders) in nature.

QUOTE: 19. DISCLAIMER OF WARRANTIES
YOU EXPRESSLY UNDERSTAND AND AGREE THAT: e. A SMALL PERCENTAGE OF USERS MAY EXPERIENCE EPILEPTIC SEIZURES WHEN EXPOSED TO CERTAIN LIGHT PATTERNS OR BACKGROUNDS ON A COMPUTER SCREEN OR WHILE USING THE SERVICE. CERTAIN CONDITIONS MAY INDUCE PREVIOUSLY UNDETECTED EPILEPTIC SYMPTOMS EVEN IN USERS WHO HAVE NO HISTORY OF PRIOR SEIZURES OR EPILEPSY. IF YOU, OR ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY, HAVE AN EPILEPTIC CONDITION, CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN PRIOR TO USING THE SERVICE. IMMEDIATELY DISCONTINUE USE OF THE SERVICE AND CONSULT YOUR PHYSICIAN IF YOU EXPERIENCE ANY OF THE FOLLOWING SYMPTOMS WHILE USING THE SERVICE: DIZZINESS, ALTERED VISION, EYE OR MUSCLE TWITCHES, LOSS OF AWARENESS, DISORIENTATION, ANY INVOLUNTARY MOVEMENT, OR CONVULSIONS.

ANALYSIS: This is sort of creepy. Why does Yahoo include a "seizure" disclaimer? What's this all about? Perhaps there are others, but this is the only EULA in which we've seen a seizure disclaimer. Strange.

QUOTE: 27. GENERAL INFORMATION
If any provision of the TOS is found by a court of competent jurisdiction to be invalid, the parties nevertheless agree that the court should endeavor to give effect to the parties' intentions as reflected in the provision, and the other provisions of the TOS remain in full force and effect.

ANALYSIS: Great. So, even if a court finds that Yahoo's TOS is illegal, you agree to try to persuade the judge to let it stand, anyway.

EULA Hall of Shame EULA

The following constitutes the EULA Hall of Shame EULA
(End Users License Agreement).
Please read carefully!
1. By viewing, seeing, casting your eyes upon, accessing, thinking about, hearing about, or in any other way using your ocular, auditory, cranial or other sensory faculties or facilities to gain any knowledge of or information from the EULA Hall of Fame website (hereinafter known as EHOF) you agree to be bound in perpetuity and forever and ever amen by the terms and conditions of this EULA agreement, which constitutes a binding contract upon you without any legal resort, appeal, petition or redress of any kind, either known or which may become known in the future.
2. You agree that EHOF, along with its creators, initiators, employees, associates, heirs, assigns, architects, authors, relatives, entrepreneurs, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, children, cousins and other in-laws, founders, inventors, makers, originators, parents, patriarchs, builders, contributors, developers, pioneers, affiliates, allies, cohorts, colleagues, confederates, copartners, fellows, partners, chums, companions, comrades, cronies, fellows, mates, hirelings, jobholders, workers, hires, hired hands, and anyone else that EHOF and its creators, initiators, employees, associates, heirs, assigns, architects, authors, relatives, entrepreneurs, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, children, cousins and other in-laws, founders, inventors, makers, originators, parents, patriarchs, builders, contributors, developers, pioneers, affiliates, allies, cohorts, colleagues, confederates, copartners, fellows, partners, chums, companions, comrades, cronies, fellows, mates, hirelings, jobholders, workers, hires, and hired hands shall deem worthy shall be able to do anything whatsoever that they please, and, if you don’t like it, well then, that's just too bad for you.

SCROOGLE.org
SEARCH

Yeah, it's cheesy to include Google ads on this website, but, hey, we figure that as much as we rag on Google, they should pay us for the privilege. Hmmm, there's some interesting logic for you!

If you know of a EULA that should be inducted into the EULA Hall of Shame, PLEASE EMAIL US at the address found below. If you submit a EULA for inclusion, YOU MUST INCLUDE (1) the name of the company originating the EULA, (2) the name of the program, website or other device that incorporates the EULA, (3) a link to a website owned by the EULA originator that displays the EULA, OR the ORIGINAL FACTORY OEM floppy disc, CD, DVD or printed-on-paper document that contains the EULA. We only deal with original factory OEM products -- WE WILL NOT ACCEPT COPIES. If necessary, we will provide you with a land-location mailing address, and, when we are through with our analysis, your materials will be returned, AND, (4) your reasons why you dislike the EULA.
EMAILS THAT DO NOT CONFORM TO THE ABOVE REQUIREMENTS WILL BE IGNORED.

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If you feel that information found on this website has somehow wronged you or your company, please email us at the address found above. We take all such communications very seriously. Be advised, however, that nasty, threatening or otherwise abusive emails will be forwarded to our team of pitbull attorneys, who would love nothing more than to take a EULA lawsuit all the way to the U.S. Supreme Court. You read eourd EULA, didn't you?
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The contents of this website are Copyright 2007 and following years by Dave Moore and the EULA Hall of Shame. This website is provided for informational purposes only, and is not intended to provide legal advice of any kind. Materials found on this website which are not the property of Dave Moore and the EULA Hall of Shame are the property of their respective owners, and are used and reproduced pursuant to the Fair Use and other applicable laws of the United States of America. See fairuse.stanford.edu for more information. This website went online May 19, 2007. Also, thanks to Chris Hansen for the cool font!

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